You want to be assertive!
An assertive person evaluates a situation, decides how to act,
and responds without undue anxiety or guilt. They respect themselves and other
people and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. They are aware
of what they want and ask for it in an open and direct manner. If refused, they
feel appropriately disappointed but they do not suffer a blow to their
self-esteem. Assertive behaviour is
based on the belief that the person has the same rights, responsibilities and personal
self-worth as other people.
Assertive rights are those rights and expectations that any human
being has by virtue of their existence.
The important thing to remember is that
everybody has these rights. As human beings we have:
1) The right to ask for
what we want (realising that the other person has the right to say 'No').
2) The right to express
our feelings, opinions and beliefs.
3) The right to make our
own decisions and to cope with the consequences.
4) The right to say
'yes' and 'no' for ourselves.
5) The right to change
our minds.
6) The right to say
"I don't understand"
7) The right to choose
whether or not to get involved in the problems of someone else.
8) The right to make
mistakes.
9) The right to be alone
and to be independent.
10) The right to
privacy.
11) The right to be
successful and to acknowledge it.
12) The right to change
ourselves and be assertive people.
It’s all too easy for us to forget that we have
these rights and that makes it even more difficult to stand up and fight for
them. The more aware we are of the rights we have, the more confident we will
be about working towards them.
Read through the list of
rights on a regular basis to remind yourself of them. If you have difficulty
accepting any of them, then mark these on the list and spend some time thinking
about how abusing these rights is stopping you from getting the most of our life. You might find it helpful to discuss them with
someone who doesn't lack assertiveness.
